One of my parishioners said to me about how nobody looks into his eyes. Why? And generally as a society, we tend to walk away from that sort of intimacy. Why don't we want to look at another person's eyes? Are we scared that they think we are scary? There is such intimacy in looking at another person's eyes and being vulnerable.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Un-quantifiable
I remember coming back to Long Beach on July 10th, so happy that my flight was landing back in Long Beach. Maybe because I was excited about the weather, and what that felt like, or the sense of chillness that pervades at least Southern California. We've had one of our parishioners who said, "California ruins you," and there us truth to that. Who would want to go anywhere else?
But that was such a wonderful feeling, of being happy to be back in Los Angeles, Long Beach, SoCal. There is just something about that, which really fits my persona. More chill..laid back. I remember loving the Summer of 2000, when I lived in Hancock Park and took my bike or the car up to St. Stephens to work with the Hip Hop Crowd. One of the best summers of my life.
I remember wanting to go back and start my ordination process here in the Diocese of Los Angeles. I met Bishop Bruno in August of 2000. What if I had done that? In any case, I'm writing this post, because of that incredible feeling of landing in Long Beach, on the 10th at 5 pm or so. Happy to be back in SoCal. I can't deny that I was happy about that. Maybe it's just the vibe of openness, chilled out, truly diverse, more progressive. Innovation, things can happen here,...and also finding my Priesthood which I was beginning to love, more than three years ago.
But that was such a wonderful feeling, of being happy to be back in Los Angeles, Long Beach, SoCal. There is just something about that, which really fits my persona. More chill..laid back. I remember loving the Summer of 2000, when I lived in Hancock Park and took my bike or the car up to St. Stephens to work with the Hip Hop Crowd. One of the best summers of my life.
I remember wanting to go back and start my ordination process here in the Diocese of Los Angeles. I met Bishop Bruno in August of 2000. What if I had done that? In any case, I'm writing this post, because of that incredible feeling of landing in Long Beach, on the 10th at 5 pm or so. Happy to be back in SoCal. I can't deny that I was happy about that. Maybe it's just the vibe of openness, chilled out, truly diverse, more progressive. Innovation, things can happen here,...and also finding my Priesthood which I was beginning to love, more than three years ago.
Self-Differentiation
I've been wanting to write about "self-differentiation," and how unbelievably important it is. A process that one goes through. I remember doing that sort of work in my Psych Class in Senior year, and that was pretty remarkable. I enjoyed that thoroughly. But the work that goes along with it, of not just going with the flow; but tangibly trying to figure out my interests and how I reflect and or think. I also remember studying this within with my Pastoral Theology class at Union. But it figures that at age 34, I am only doing that work now with an sense of earnestness.
How to find the differences between me and my family, and how that projects out into the world. It really takes a lot of intentional work; not just going with the flow; but bringing everything back to what I believe, and how I have differentiated myself from my family, friends and everybody else. Forget about being judgmental, stand up for what I believe in. Self-differentiation is actually quite liberating. It's the process of getting to know one another in a deep way.
How to find the differences between me and my family, and how that projects out into the world. It really takes a lot of intentional work; not just going with the flow; but bringing everything back to what I believe, and how I have differentiated myself from my family, friends and everybody else. Forget about being judgmental, stand up for what I believe in. Self-differentiation is actually quite liberating. It's the process of getting to know one another in a deep way.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Vulnerability
I have been thinking about a post that 1. Dr. Serene Jones, of Union Theological Seminary, wrote about in the latest Union Now magazine, where she speaks about "vulnerability" being incredibly important for the theological experiment. It was brought up again by a friend of mine, and parishioner at the Church where I currently serve, 2. Benjamin Galan, where he shared that "vulnerability" is so incredibly important to the experiment of community.
3. And therein lies the third bit about vulnerability that I have found out. It is as Greg said today, "the most unhappiest people are those that live lives of protection" or those that are protected.
As I leave St. Luke's Episcopal Church, here in Long Beach, CA, I recognize that I have found my voice here, and also my sense of the Priesthood mainly because of Gary Commins, the Rector. He called me to be his associate and it was powerful for my priesthood, which I think was dying. Here was a place that I was fully myself and preaching the way I have always wanted to preach, uninhibited and let loose with the Spirit leading the way. I was myself, and I also found my prophetic voice which was always there. I have been taught I think culturally, Indian culture, to shy away and be a reticent. It's a sense of shyness, to pull away from and not demand what I need. Nobody deserves anything, as I think God would say. But here in the Church, I found my voice which speaks by itself. It is certainly cognizant of what's happening all around it; but will not shy away from conflict; but actually relishes in it. I mention this also as I think about leaving for another position within The Episcopal Church. To the extent that I have been successful here at St. Luke's, it is because of my vulnerability. I have shared from my own experience touches on God, and how theology speaks from that encounter. Too often I find people so buttoned up." I think that was profoundly deep. Folks in Churches I think are buttoned up and they are looking to given the permission to release and be who they are called to be, not to be someone else. When they hear vulnerability, they are immediately set free, it's like people are saying," be who you are," it's ok if people see you struggling and going through very difficult times.
It is the sharing that enables another to share their story. We all give permission to do be vulnerable and share who you are as a community.
And then yesterday's conversation with Randy, who just sounds so incredibly connected to God because of how he talks and how animated he is. He's so full of energy whenever I meet him, and not an over abundance of it which becomes annoying; but of energy that comes from a wellspring within. That is so clear.
3. And therein lies the third bit about vulnerability that I have found out. It is as Greg said today, "the most unhappiest people are those that live lives of protection" or those that are protected.
As I leave St. Luke's Episcopal Church, here in Long Beach, CA, I recognize that I have found my voice here, and also my sense of the Priesthood mainly because of Gary Commins, the Rector. He called me to be his associate and it was powerful for my priesthood, which I think was dying. Here was a place that I was fully myself and preaching the way I have always wanted to preach, uninhibited and let loose with the Spirit leading the way. I was myself, and I also found my prophetic voice which was always there. I have been taught I think culturally, Indian culture, to shy away and be a reticent. It's a sense of shyness, to pull away from and not demand what I need. Nobody deserves anything, as I think God would say. But here in the Church, I found my voice which speaks by itself. It is certainly cognizant of what's happening all around it; but will not shy away from conflict; but actually relishes in it. I mention this also as I think about leaving for another position within The Episcopal Church. To the extent that I have been successful here at St. Luke's, it is because of my vulnerability. I have shared from my own experience touches on God, and how theology speaks from that encounter. Too often I find people so buttoned up." I think that was profoundly deep. Folks in Churches I think are buttoned up and they are looking to given the permission to release and be who they are called to be, not to be someone else. When they hear vulnerability, they are immediately set free, it's like people are saying," be who you are," it's ok if people see you struggling and going through very difficult times.
It is the sharing that enables another to share their story. We all give permission to do be vulnerable and share who you are as a community.
And then yesterday's conversation with Randy, who just sounds so incredibly connected to God because of how he talks and how animated he is. He's so full of energy whenever I meet him, and not an over abundance of it which becomes annoying; but of energy that comes from a wellspring within. That is so clear.
More than Inclusivity
The new convener of the Beach Progressives, Sean Lanigan, talked about being a community that is more than inclusivity. That young adults obviously want more than to be an inclusive community. That is so true. Yet here in Churches that are inter-generational, that isn't often the case. We strive to inclusive because that isn't a part of the reality, and yet it is stunning for Millenials, how many of them are irreligious and also Progressive, and that is heartening. It's definitely going in that direction and it's only a matter of time.
In any case, inclusivity. Churches as Sean said, should be more than places of inclusivity. That's just so obvious and a given for Millenials. What else can a Church be? They should be incubators or love, driven to sustain spiritual growth in our parishioners, and I wonder if we are doing that as a Church. Are we encouraging their spiritual growth? I think that is an important question.
But moreso the fact, that our goal should not be inclusivity. It's such a tepid goal, or maybe it wasn't so far along ago, but now for Millenials it is. That's pretty remarkable. I love that; but it just makes demands on us as leaders of Christian community. What are we really giving to people, other than a worship experience that is hopefully nourishing spiritual growth.
Indeed, I feel like I have gone through spiritual growth being here at St. Luke's but also certainly because of Gary's mentorship. Thank God for his leadership and guidance.
In any case, inclusivity. Churches as Sean said, should be more than places of inclusivity. That's just so obvious and a given for Millenials. What else can a Church be? They should be incubators or love, driven to sustain spiritual growth in our parishioners, and I wonder if we are doing that as a Church. Are we encouraging their spiritual growth? I think that is an important question.
But moreso the fact, that our goal should not be inclusivity. It's such a tepid goal, or maybe it wasn't so far along ago, but now for Millenials it is. That's pretty remarkable. I love that; but it just makes demands on us as leaders of Christian community. What are we really giving to people, other than a worship experience that is hopefully nourishing spiritual growth.
Indeed, I feel like I have gone through spiritual growth being here at St. Luke's but also certainly because of Gary's mentorship. Thank God for his leadership and guidance.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Bridge-building..
It's interesting to think about "bridge-building," between our English and Spanish speaking portions of the congregation when in fact it's something that I should be doing within myself. My varied parts, being an Indian and an American and trying to figure out that is a very difficult endeavor. How does my American side feel connected to my Indian side and visa versa? In fact I think it's a gift to be both but to live within it can be quite excruciating. Nobody from either side thinks you are a part of their country. I think this is more true however in India, with my voice and lack of language.
The bridge building not only ethnically; but also between public side and who I am to my family and friends. An interesting dichotomy. Between the secular, the sacred. I love to live between both worlds and to realize that they speak to one another in a powerful way. How do I create a bridge within myself?
The bridge building not only ethnically; but also between public side and who I am to my family and friends. An interesting dichotomy. Between the secular, the sacred. I love to live between both worlds and to realize that they speak to one another in a powerful way. How do I create a bridge within myself?
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